Something so new

Although 2009 hasn't started off with the glitter that I wanted it to, it has no less been exciting.  I met a really nice guy, but things didn't work out because of a relationship that he was in. Imagine what I was thinking when I found out that the woman, and I mean "woman", he was seeing was older.  When I say older I mean at least early 40's.  I'm only 33 (soon to be 34). All I could say was "wow". When middle age men start dating older woman over me, I am exposed to a whole new world, LOL....

I have talked over the last few days to a few friends about my situation just to try to gain understanding as to why we go through things, especially when it deals with the heart.  Some friends have told me that it just wasn't my time. I've heard that story over and over.  When do you know when it's "your time"? When do you know that the person you are seeing is "the one" you are meant to be with? Do you ever know?

My married friends say "enjoy being single". I tell them it's not about being single for me.  It's about being in an adult relationship where two people love and care for each other and want to grow. Maybe I watch too many movies so I have this warped vision of what I think a relationship should be. I am watching one of my favorite movies "An Officer and A Gentleman".  My favorite parts is at the end when Richard Gere takes Debra Winger off her job and they go off together to live their lives.  That scene is so powerful.  He loved her so much as was willing to take her away from all of her troubles and love her the best way he knew how.  That's the kind of love I'm looking for.  Some people say that kind of love doesn't exist.  But why shouldn't I want that?  I think every person deserves to be loved and want to love another person.  I just end up with people who want to take the love I give and show it to someone else!!! LOL

Right after this happened, I told many of my friends (male and female) that I had given up on love.  I was threw trying to make relationships work because it was too hard. I was tired of being heartbroken.  But a day of crying, I just can't do that. I KNOW God has someone for me out there.  I have gone through many rough romantic experiences for a reason. I don't know what that is yet, but it has a purpose.  Once I figure it out, everything will fall into place.

Until this day happens, I will continue to take care of my family, work hard and take care of the job at hand.  One day everything will be revealed. I think that will be one of the happiest days of my life.