I am afraid of snakes. I hate them. I had an incident happen to me once at my grandmother's house and it freaked me out. Will not go near one. I also hate spiders, bugs of any kind and insects period. This is probably why I don't go outside for long periods of time. Especially in the summer.
But I guess my biggest fear is rejection. It can be a mind blower for me. Hence, I am not the one in the crowd to approach someone and say hello, or ask how you are doing. I am pretty reserved. I guess it is the Capricorn nature in me.
I know I am afraid to say the wrong thing to people and they never speak to me again or say something that makes them think I am an idiot. I present myself as a strong woman. Please don't get me wrong, I am VERY strong. But there is still that piece of me that has some fear.
There are some things that I want to say to people that I won't say for fear of their reactions. Its a 50/50 chance. It can go one way or go another. So I decide not to take the chance. Just leave it to whomever to try and figure it out. If they do, great! If they don't, I guess it was never meant to be said.
But I can't continue to live this way. I have to not let fear control me even if its just a small portion of my life. This is not to say that I am just going to do whatever and say whatever I please. But I have to be willing to take the risk. How will I ever know.
At the right moment, at the right time, I am going to let fear go. It could be the greatest moment of my life, or it can be a fucking mess... LOL
Either way, I know I am going to have to do it. Gotta be more of a risk taker in '09 and the year is halfway over. Much still to do.....
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