I was talking to my friend Mark and we were talking about why things are the way they are between us. We have grown very close in our conversation and laugh every day. There are definitely those people who don't like our continued friendship, but that is ok. He puts a smile on my face everyday.
The crazy thing about this situation is that I have yet to be intimate with him. We have grown closer over the last few months but have yet to move beyond a kiss. Wow!!! For me, that is saying a lot. I have been with men before and at this point in the game we have gotten busy!! LOL But even though the situation seems frustrating we are still here.
Today took a little downturn. When you are dealing with matters of the flesh, feelings and emotions begin to come into play. Emotions start to rise and realize that you want something really bad. But circumstances happen that prevent you from acting on those emotions. That is nothing but God intervening.
Awhile back, when we were still not being intimate I thought that this was going nowhere and I was ready to throw in the towel and say forget it. Today, I stand here to say that I am waiting on God. Psalms 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord and lean not on thy own understanding". I told Mark today, I know the situation looks bleak, but don't give up on us and what God is doing with us. He is doing great things and if he really didn't want us to be together, the intimacy would have come into play a long time ago. I truly believe that.
It has taken me a minute to truly believe that this man is meant to be in my life. I am growing in my patience and waiting on God to say "now is your time". He put it on my heart to find that scripture and say that to Mark because I could hear the discouragement in his voice. Today was a great day for me because I gained a renewed spirit through that conversation.
Any other time I would have been depressed and cried and thought it was over. I know its not over. I have claimed victory over the devil's minions through the power of God and all that He has for me.
Mark is a wonderful man that I truly find myself caring for more each day.... We shall see what God has in store for us..
Til the next post......
